


Missed Calls

by narryster



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Angst, Depression, Implied/Referenced Suicide, M/M, i suggest you to read it while you're alone, i think, this may or may not make you cry idk
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-06-21
Updated: 2014-06-21
Packaged: 2018-02-05 12:56:19
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,758
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1819261
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/narryster/pseuds/narryster
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"Hey Liam...uhm...it's Louis. I don't know why I called you, I feel so awkward now because I know that you won't pick up your phone. But I just wanted to tell you that I love you and since you left me, I'm  a mess... Please come back to me, Liam, don't just leave me like that. I miss you so much."</p>
            </blockquote>





	Missed Calls

**Author's Note:**

> if you want to listen to what i've been listening to while writing this, it's These Four Walls by Little Mix  
> this story is not based on the song but when i saw that it fit, it gave me a few more ideas for this

  
_"Hey Liam...uhm…It's Louis. I don't know why I called you; I feel so awkward now because I know that you won't pick up your phone… But I just wanted to tell you that I love you and since you left me, I’m a mess… Please come back to me, Liam, don't just leave me like that. I miss you so much."_

_"Hey...uhm...it's Louis- again ...honestly I don't know what to say right now and why I called you in the first place and I kinda feel very pathetic for calling you. It's just...I miss you so much, Li. The last few days I’ve been only staying home and I feel so lonely without you. I know what you would probably say right now...that I should just go outside and meet some friends to not be alone anymore, but I feel like I would just feel even lonelier then. Besides, they just wouldn't understand what I’m going through at the moment. Nobody does, although everybody thinks they do. They can only imagine, but nobody really understands. Well anyway...I just wanted to tell you that I love you, and I miss you, Li, so much."_

_"Hey Li, it's me again, Louis or Lou how you liked to call me. Again, I only reached your voicemail which shouldn't be such a surprise to me since I know that you won’t pick up the phone but I still hope sometimes that when I call you, you will answer the phone and I can hear your lovely voice and your catching laugh. It's the same every single time though, all I get is your recorded voice saying that you are either at work or busy entertaining your annoying boyfriend before you laugh and then there is the beep sound. I don't blame you; I know I can be a pain in the ass sometimes. I still remember the day you were recording your voicemail. You recorded something and deleted it after that over and over again because in your opinion it always sounded horrible even though I assured you that you sounded perfect as always. You wouldn't listen to me, like always, and recorded everything again. I remember how I simply took your phone and saved what you had recorded last because I just wanted to spend some time with you. That's exactly what I would like to do now but I know I can't and that just hurts my heart every single time I think about it. I would give everything to hear your voice just one more time, not your recorded voice; the voice which tells me that everything will be okay and that you will always stay by my side but I know that this won’t happen. You won’t pick up your phone."_

_"Hey Liam uhhh... Louis here. Again. Like all the times before, I hoped that you would pick up but of course you didn't so uhm-… I just wanted to tell you that I miss you. I told you this like a thousand times before so I guess you are already sick of hearing it but I really do miss you. I'm lost without you, Liam."_

_"Hey uhm I suppose, I don't have to tell who I am again. I called so many times; you have to know who I am. And you should know my voice anyway. Well yeah, Zayn came over today and he said he wanted to make sure that I’m alright … Of course I told him that I’m fine, that I will get through this but that was probably the biggest lie ever told. You are not here, Li, which means that nothing is alright. I don't understand what Zayn and the other lads expect from me, like as if I could be my cheery self again a day after you left me. They tell me they understand what I’m going through but that's a fucking lie! They don't understand how it is, being left by the love of your life, they just don't understand..."_

_"It’s almost Christmas which means I’m supposed to decorate everything but you know what? I can't. I just can't do it since it was a thing we did together and without you it just doesn't feel right. I wouldn't reach anything in this damn apartment anyway. You were always the man in our relationship and I just can't do it without you; everything seems so hard without you. I don’t want to celebrate Christmas; it won’t be the same without you here."_

_"I feel so pathetic calling you while I’m crying but I just don't know what else to do. I just-…miss you so much! Please come back to me. Please tell me that you will always be by my side no matter what. What happened to that? What happened to you telling me that you will never leave me? Because you did, you did leave me after all. Why did you leave me, Liam? Why did you break your promise and left me alone? I just don't understand it! Why didn't you stay by my side like you said you would?! You are such a liar, you know that?! Why do you give me such promises if you can't even keep them? Why did you leave me, crying myself to sleep every night because you are not next to me in our bed, holding me close and whispering sweet nothings into my ear!? I just don't understand it, Liam! Why did you have to do this to me?!”_

_"The bed feels so empty without you. Since you left I can barely find any sleep because I need you beside me. The space next to me makes me insane because I wished you were there and would hug me from behind, telling me that you love me multiple times until I would fall asleep and in your arms and with your whisper in my ear I always fell asleep so easily and I just wish I had that back. I wish I had you back. Sometimes lying in this cold and empty bed just gets too much and I can't keep lying there anymore. Then I try to sleep on our sofa but it's not much better there. I can’t help but to remember how we sometimes cuddled there and watched movies together until we would both fall asleep in each other's arms. The only place where I can find a little bit sleep is the floor. I know you would tell me now to not sleep there because it's not good for my back but I don't care. I have nothing left to care about since you left."_

_"Do you remember how we met, Liam? Because I do, I remember every single detail. It was September, the 13th, Niall's birthday. I knew him because of Harry since they had been going to secondary school together and became friends and you…you had met him at university and somehow immediately became friends as you sat next to each other in one class. We were both invited to his party and everybody knew that it was just about drinking since that’s the only thing Niall is doing at parties. We sat around this table with Niall, Harry, Zayn and a few other people, you kinda opposite me, and I'm so sorry, Liam, but I didn't like you_ at all _. I mean, of course I had to admit that you looked good but I really couldn't stand you at that time. I kept telling me that the reason I didn't like you was that you were just like one of these **hot hipster university guys** who thought they were the coolest people on earth though when I think about it now, it was probably because I didn't want any new people added to our small group of friends. Whenever you talked, I looked annoyed and I’m sure you noticed that. Niall definitely did and he told me to relax, gave me a few, well more like **a lot** of, pints and the stupid young man I was, I drank all of them. I was probably the drunkest person at that party after all which meant I was talking to everybody, and also to you, Liam, remember? I sat on the sofa to calm down a little bit and I didn't even recognize you already sitting there. I remember that you suddenly asked if I hated you and I was **so confused** because I didn't know if you talked to me but when you turned your head to me and even said my name, which sounded so good, hearing it from you, I knew you meant me. I was a bit perplexed but then I just asked why it mattered. Your answer then made me even more confused, because you said, and I remember every single word, you said. **'Because I like you and it would suck if you hated me.** ' I still don't quite understand how you were able to like me even though I was an ass towards you and then embarrassingly drunk but before I could say anything you stood up and disappeared somewhere. You were 20 then and I was just about to turn 22 and you know that although I'm older than you, you’ve always been the more mature one. This happened over 3 years ago; three years within I get to know you, within I fell in love with you. Three years and it wasn't enough time I spend with you but it was enough time to get to love you so much that I broke when you left. Three years in which you found your way into a special place in my heart, the heart you took with you when you left.”_

_"I tried to bake biscuits today, another thing we always did together. Well, to be honest when we were doing it, it was more like a flour fight and kissing each other which meant that the biscuits were burned after all. I always blamed you although I knew that it wasn't only your fault. Now I can be honest and tell you that I was only acting to be mad, seeing as then you would try to calm me down which meant more kisses. Though maybe you already knew that… that I was just acting to get more kisses from you. You know me better than anyone else. Anyway, I couldn't do it. Baking biscuits without you. There were no flour fights, no burned biscuits and no kisses to calm me down. It was just me sitting on the floor of the kitchen and crying like I’ve been doing the entire time since you've been gone._

_"Today Harry came over just like he’d already done multiple times before. I can't even tell you when exactly he comes over because I lost track of time; I only know that it's Christmas soon since I see it sometimes in the commercials when Zayn turns on the TV while coming over. Unlike the others, Harry doesn't say a word to me. He just joins me on the sofa and we just sit there in silence. He doesn't force me to do anything which I appreciate a lot. I don't know if he's waiting for me to talk to him first but I guess he has to wait a while for that to happen because I don't feel like talking to anybody. I don't feel like doing anything, nothing has a point without you anyway."_

_"When Niall told me that you’d been asking a lot about me after we’d met at his birthday, I was quite shocked, to be honest. Niall said that it was obvious that you liked me and, seriously Liam, I still don't understand how you were able to like me, why you were so interested in me. Niall told me then that you had been asking him for my number and that he gave it to you but when you would call me I should act surprised. And then I’ve been waiting for your call, I didn't even know why but I was so excited to finally see an unknown number calling me although you know how much I hate unknown callers. And you know what, Li? I waited for almost **three weeks.** You seriously took three weeks to finally call me, Liam! And when I picked up the phone and you were just so awkward, just not getting the right words out, I couldn't hold back the smile that formed on my face, you were just so cute. I didn't even care about the fact that I previously thought I hated you because hearing your stuttering words, asking me out on a date just made me so happy. And what made me smile even more was the fact that I could practically **hear** you smiling when I agreed on that date, you just seemed so happy! I like to think about that day, it makes me smile even though it’s only for a minute. Then I realize that hearing your smile exists only in my memory anymore, I will never be able to hear you smiling again."_

_"Your clothes lose your smell, Li, and I don't know what to do about it. I've been wearing your black sweater, your favorite one, the entire time since you left and slowly but surely it loses your smell that I loved so much. I looked through the laundry and tried to find any clothes of you that still had your scent on them but I didn't find anything...our closet is full of washed clothes which means there isn't your scent either and Liam, I just don't know what to do. I tried to spray your cologne on all the clothes but it didn't work because it’s not your natural lovely scent. I don't know what to do Liam, your scent was the only thing I had left and now it’s gone too. I'm scared that I will forget how you smelled Liam, that I will never remember your scent again. I'm scared that I will forget how your voice sounded in real life, how your laugh sounded. Your voicemail doesn't compare to that. I'm scared that I will forget how your touch felt, that I won't remember how your lips felt against mine, how your skin felt on mine. I'm scared that I will forget how your soft hair feels. I'm scared that I will forget how special your beautiful brown eyes looked, that I will forget this special color. I'm scared that I will forget all this and it will only become a part of my imagination. I'm scared that I will forget that you were really there, Liam, that all the things I experienced with you were real. I'm so scared of forgetting about all this ...I’m so scared of losing you completely, Liam."_

_"Our first date was so perfect, Li. Actually, it wasn't really special since we only went to the cinema and got some food at a fast food restaurant but to me it was still perfect. You picked me up at my flat and you were so nervous and I could see that you wanted everything to be perfect but it was predictable that things would go wrong because first your car didn't want to start and you were so cute looking so frustrated with furrowed eyebrows and then telling me something while stuttering since you thought you were already ruining everything. You didn't though; although the date hadn’t really begun yet all I was able to do was smiling. Till now I don't understand how I was able to not like you at first. When we were finally at the cinema, watching this stupid romantic comedy movie, you accidentally poured your coke over my trousers and I just couldn't stop smiling and laughing at your worry and even though I told you multiple times that it was fine you wouldn’t listen to me and just apologized even more. You were so worried that you had ruined the whole date that you didn't even notice how happy I was. I remember, when we were standing in front of the apartment building I was living in, telling each other a goodbye and looking each other in the eyes for a while , I was waiting for you to kiss me but you were probably too scared to do it. And you said goodbye again and started to walk away and I had to order you back so that I could ask you if you didn't forget anything. And you were so confused, I could see it in your eyes and as you still didn't do anything, I was the one who had to initiate the kiss. And it was perfect, you were so sweet and caring and I had to smile against your lips. I don't know how much I was smiling that day but it’s almost always like that when I’m around you. You being with me just makes me smile. And now...that you left I don't have any reason to smile anymore. What's the point in smiling when you aren't here to return that smile? I don't see any point in it anymore; I don't see any point in doing anything anymore since you aren't here to enjoy it with me.”_

_"Niall comes over every few days to bring me some food since he knows I don't go outside to buy stuff. I just stay on the couch staring into space and try to ignore him as much as I can. Every single time he asks me then if I already ate something but I don't reply because if he looks into the fridge and sees all the things he brought untouched, it should be enough of an answer for him. Lately, he places a glass of water and a piece of bread on the table in front of the sofa and tells me he won't go until I eat something. I know the only way how to get rid of him is eating something so I usually take one bite and sip and fake a smile for him. Niall mostly sighs then before he finally leaves, probably already guessing that what I had just swallowed will enter the toilet once he’s gone. I just can't keep any food down. Just like everything without you, eating is pointless. Life without you is no life anymore; I’m nothing without you.."_

 

 

 

_"When you asked me to be your boyfriend I seriously was the happiest person on earth. We were going on dates for a while then and I already thought you would **never** ask me. But one day, when we were at your flat, after eating your wonderful cooked dinner, cuddling on your bed and watching TV, you suddenly bursted out with the question which let my heart stop and then attack you with kisses all over your face. You didn't know how long I had been waiting for you to ask that certain question and telling you **yes, I wanted to be your boyfriend** , was the best decision I’ve ever made. I don't regret saying it and I don't regret the time I had with you although after all I’m hurting because you are not here with me anymore. If I could go back to that day, I would tell you the same answer because even though I know now, you would leave me alone after all, I wouldn't want to miss any of the things we experienced together. Every single day, every single second, spending with you was worth it. Because I love you, Liam, **so much** , even though you are not here anymore. I will never stop loving you."_

_"Today I looked out of the window and saw that it was snowing. Remember how excited you’ve always been when you saw how the first snow fell? When there was enough snow on the ground and you were sure that it would stay that way, we put a lot of warm clothes on and you couldn't wait till you could finally go outside and play in the snow, like a little kid. Your smile...your smile whenever we reached the park here in the near and which was fully covered in snow, whenever you saw that, your smile was just priceless. And when you then looked at me with that big smile and it became even wider, I had to smile with you because it hit me that I was the luckiest man alive to be with someone like you. Sometimes we fought over that, who the luckiest of us both was and although you kept telling me that you were luckier than me, I knew that you were wrong. I was the luckiest person on earth to get such a lovely person like you. I really didn't deserve you and that's probably also the reason why you have been taken away from me. Nobody deserves as much happiness as I got because of you."_

_"Harry freaked out today. He just came over like he usually did, just watching TV while sitting next to me and we didn't say anything like always until he suddenly stood up and started to yell at me. Asking if I wanted to act like this forever, if I just wanted to destroy myself like this. He shouted at me and wanted to know if I didn't see how I was not only hurting myself but also him and our other mates. I just stayed silent and didn't say anything until he finally left. It was better for him because if he had stayed any longer, I would have bursted out with the anger that I had been trying to hold back. How dare he telling me to **'stop acting this way'** to **'stop hurting myself'** since i was **'hurting my other mates too'**! If I were able to just get over the pain that I’m feeling since you left, I would! Does he really think I was hurting on purpose?! How dare him to tell me that I was hurting him and the others! Their **'pain** ' could never compare to what I’m feeling, I’m in so much pain that I just feel lifeless and numb, as if I’m already dead in the inside. I always tell myself to stop crying and I seriously thought that I didn't have any more tears in my body but the fact that I’m crying here again just shows how wrong I always am. I just miss you so much, Liam, why can't you just come back so that I can be happy again, so that I can stop hurting our mates. All it takes is for you to come back, Li, please just come back to me."_

_"I will never forget the first time we made love together. We both had done it before with somebody else but I wished you would’ve been my first one. Of course, you were the dominant one, you had always been more manly than me, I’ll admit that, but you were so caring and gentle, there wasn't anything rough about what you were doing to me. You waited patiently till I felt comfortable and distracted me with soft and sweet kisses everywhere on my body. I remember every single touch, every single kiss. Every single move. Thinking about this just shows me how much I miss your touch, how much I miss your gentle kisses, how much I miss your caring self. I should really stop thinking about all this because it just makes me feel even more lifeless since I know you will never come back. You will never touch me like you had done that day and there is nothing I can do about that."_

_"Today...Niall, Harry and Zayn showed up all together and ...they-...they told me that I should go to some therapy. They seemed to think that this was the only way to help me but Liam; I don't want to go to some therapy. What if they tell me there to forget about you and all the wonderful things we experienced together? What if forgetting you is the only way for me to be happy again? I don't want to be happy then, Li, I don't want to feel happiness if it means that I have to forget about you. I would rather keep crying me to sleep every night since you are not there than not thinking about you at all anymore. The way you kissed, you touched me. The way you were smiling at me about something you found funny with your cute smile. I don't want to forget about you Liam; I love you too much for this. Happiness wouldn't be the same anyway without you."_

 

 

 

 

_"The night you left I was sitting on the sofa in our apartment, watching TV and waiting for you to come home. Waiting for you to go through that door and hug me as a greeting, kissing me because you had missed me. But it didn't matter how long I waited you didn't went through that door. You didn't hug or kiss me. You didn't come home. I knew that something was wrong, **I knew it** and I remember how I freaked out and called Harry, Zayn and Niall asking them all if they knew where you were. They all told me the same. That they didn't know where you were but that I shouldn't worry about you. But that couldn't stop me from worrying. I couldn't sleep that night because I just had this bad feeling. I had this lump in my throat and I just couldn't stop thinking about why you still weren't home. It was unusual for you not to call me and tell me that you were alright, you just disappeared and I was so worried. I guess that night I already knew deep down that I would never see you again, maybe I didn't want to admit it, but I already guessed it. And I was right after all. You left me that night.”_

_"I’m sorry for so many things in my life, I’m sorry for so many stupid things that I did that I was never able to undo, I’m sorry for so many chances I missed but, Li, after all the one thing I’m the most sorry for is not telling you a proper goodbye. The night I saw you for...the last time, you wanted to quickly drive to the next grocery store and buy some things that we **strongly** needed, or more like, I insisted that we needed them. Now I can't even remember what I told you to buy so it couldn't have been that important. But you still wanted to drive and buy it because I had been so annoying like always. And when you wanted to go all I gave you was a peck on the lips and I remember I told you 'don't take too long'. And then you left and all I had given you was a simply peck and four simple words. Not even a 'stay save' or 'I love you' only ‘don't take too long". I'm so damn sorry, Liam, because I was not good enough for you, you weren’t appreciated by me as much as you should have been. You didn't deserve somebody as ungrateful as me and I-...I’m just so sorry Li, I’m so sorry."_

_"You know, Liam, it’s incredible how quickly your life can change, like...specific words can let you break inside in not more than a few seconds. It just depends on how fast they sink in. The morning after the day you didn't come home, I knew that something was wrong. Deep down, I already had a bad presentment; I think I just didn't want to listen to it. This morning, I was totally worn out, I didn't sleep at all the last night because I was so worried about you and then suddenly...the doorbell rang. And you know, Li, I imagined that it was you, I imagined that you were standing there and telling me that you are alright and I would just kiss you because I missed you so much but **deep down** I knew that it wasn't you. I just knew it. And it was the truth; you weren't telling me that you were alright, I didn't have the chance to kiss you. Instead, there were those two police men and I saw it in their looks, I saw that they were going to tell me what I was already thinking. But you know what the funny thing is? When they looked at me with their sad eyes and actually told me what happened, I didn't want to believe them although I knew deep down that they were right. Because I felt it, the moment you left I felt how you took my heart with you. I felt how my heart stopped working properly as the most important part of it that I gave to you died. The moment your heart stopped beating, mine did too in the inside although it still kept beating and it is still beating now. It’s empty though, and I feel like it just wants to keep up its act. I died inside and now my body is just like an empty shell, just wanting to finish its job of keeping the human alive that is already not there anymore. I gave you my heart Liam, so the moment you died, I died with you."_

_"Your funeral was the worst thing I ever had to go through. I wanted to be strong for everybody, for your parents, for your friends so that I didn't shed a single tear. To other people it may have seemed heartless but what they didn't know what was going on inside me. They didn't know that I was trying to tell myself that this was still all just a dream; that I would wake up any second, you lying next to me. They didn't know how I started to become numb in the inside, losing the most important and precious thing in my life. They didn't know that after the funeral when I was in our apartment, I was crying and screaming, begging for you to come back. Begging to anybody to give me the love of my life back. I'm sorry that I didn't cry at your funeral, Liam, I probably should have. I have been your boyfriend after all. But believe me, even though I didn't cry at your funeral, I was dying in the inside, nobody was just able to see it."_

_"Sometimes I just lie on the ground and ask myself why I am even here, why I'm still here while you are gone. I mean, if there's no point in living without you, why not just follow you? It would be so easy. There's not much of a reason to stay here so maybe I will just do it. Just leave. Going after you. I know that my family will get over it. They have each other. And our mates will get over it too. I'm already dead in the inside so why not just make it official? I don't even know what's holding me back; I guess I’m just too scared to even do it. But I would face my fears for you Liam, if leaving means getting you back then I will just face my fear and do it. If I do it right it won't even be painful. It would be so easy to let go off life, so simple that every day it sounds more and more pleasing to me. I know I always told you, I didn't understand how people could just leave on purpose but, since you left I began to understand. I know now how it feels like to live in a hell which is earth, and that’s only because you left. So I might just follow you. It's simple."_

_"Li...I’m afraid to tell you that this will be my last call. I won't bother you anymore with these calls, don't worry, I think I was already annoying you with it. I kinda planned everything. Yesterday, our mates came over all together and before they left I didn't say anything and just hugged them. To say **goodbye**. They were probably thinking that I’m making steps towards to getting better but damn, if they just knew. I don't even know what to tell you anymore, I was planning to tell you so much in my last call but now I just can't think of anything. It's just...I don't really wanna say goodbye because I hope I will get back to you wherever I will go. I hope that I can meet you again, so that you can kiss me and give me your sweet and cute smile. That we can hug and cuddle again, I’ve been missing this so damn much. I hope I will see you so that you can whisper **i love you'** s in my ear, I’m craving to hear it coming from your mouth again. I hope that although I’m going to end my life here, it still won't be finished completely, that there is something waiting for me somewhere. That **you** are waiting for me somewhere. Life is pointless without you, be it on earth or in heaven, so you better be already waiting for me when I finally leave this hell, Li! So I’m just gonna say what I should have said to you before you left me **. I love you so much, Liam**. And without you I'm not able to live. I'm gonna say goodbye for now but hopefully I will see your beautiful smile soon. Goodbye, Liam, I love you."_

Loud footsteps are heard on the stairs before a blond haired, young man comes walking through the wide open apartment door. He walks through it without bothering to close the door, making his way through the former living room, where another young man with curly brown hair is sitting on the floor against one wall, arms put around his legs and face buried between them. He’s shaking himself while sobbing loudly; face probably totally wet from the tears.  
  
The blond man slowly walks over to him, crouching down to lay an arm around his friend and softly stroke his back. "You don't have to do this okay? I can ask Zayn to drive you home so that you don’t have to stay here anymore. The other lads and I will handle this alone."  
  
"No." the curly haired boy mumbles into himself.  
  
"I can see how much this is hurting you, Haz. Don't make yourself do something that just gives you pain." the blond insists.  
  
The other boy raises his head from his legs, looking at his friend with puffy red and wet eyes. "I won't go, okay? I can handle this; just give me some time to calm down."  
  
"You obviously can't handle this, Harry; I can see how much you are hurting..."  
  
"Oh _so it's so obvious_ how much I’m hurting because my best friend killed himself, _is it really that obvious?!"_ He suddenly lets out, bursting out into even more tears.  
  
The blond sits down next to his friend, hugging him tight. "Shh." he sues into his ear, trying to comfort him.  
  
"Why did he left, Niall? How was he able to leave us after we had already lost Liam? Didn't he know how much we would be hurting because of this?" Harry asks, still crying.  
  
"I don't think that he thought about us at that moment, Haz, you know how much he loved Liam. He was everything he cared about and I don't blame him. And you shouldn't do that either. We don't know how much he was hurting." Niall mumbles softly.  
  
"I don't blame him, Ni, I sure don't. It's just...maybe we could have seen the signs and help him before he did it. Show him that there was still a reason to live even without Liam."  
  
Niall just sighs. "You saw him, Harry, he was not the same without Liam, and his eyes always seemed so lifeless. And we tried to help him but it didn't work. Don't blame yourself Harry; I don't think that there was anything we could have done to save him."  
  
As Harry doesn't say anything, Niall gives him a last hug before he stands up again. "I will continue carrying stuff out of the apartment, just join me and Zayn whenever you feel like It." He says, looking down at his friend.  
  
Niall is about to leave again but is stopped by a tanned, dark brown haired man, with dark bags under his brown eyes. The blond knows that his friend isn't sleeping much lately, always being woken up by nightmares since he’s the one who found their other friend lifeless in his bed with an empty bottle of pills on the nightstand. "I...I found something." He stutters out holding up a black box.  
  
"What is it, Zayn?" Niall asks.  
  
"I...I think it's...from the police. Liam's stuff that w-was found in his car." Zayn says, looking at the blond boy with slightly wide eyes.  
  
Harry who has been watching the scene sees his friend Zayn then walking towards him before placing the box down on the ground and sitting down next to him.  
  
"What’s in it?" Harry wants to know, looking at the black thing with curious eyes.  
  
"I-I don't know." He stutters out whereupon Niall places himself next to his friends, putting the black lid away.  
  
The men look into the box with curious eyes, seeing several items packed into plastic bags. Harry’s the first one to get something out of the box, grabs Liam's wallet and puts it out of the bag, opening the wallet just to see a picture of his dead best friend so that he quickly closes it again, trying to hold back the tears.  
  
Niall puts his hand into the box as well, grabbing something which seems like Liam's mobile phone and when he puts it out of the plastic he sees that the thing is destroyed at some parts which probably happened during the car crash. "Do you think it still works?" He asks no one in particular.  
  
"The battery is probably empty." Zayn replies, whispering.  
  
"I think I have a charger in my car." Niall mumbles, looking at the smartphone.  
  
"You want...you want to turn it on?" Harry asks with wide eyes.  
  
"Yeah I guess. I will be right back." He mutters before running out of the apartment just to be right back after a few minutes. Niall takes the phone again, taking it with him to the next socket whereupon he quickly puts everything at its right place so that he’s able to turn the phone on while it’s charging.   
  
Niall's eyes are met by the light screen, a certain feathery haired boy set as Liam's background which makes the blonde boy cringe. His reaction changes to shock though as the phone shows a new notification.  
  
"Guys." Niall breaths out, looking at the phone with wide eyes.  
  
"What is it, Ni?" Harry asks as he and Zayn crawl over to where their friend is sitting.  
  
 Niall doesn’t say anything and just lets them see themselves what it says on the screen.  
  
 _26 missed calls._  
  
26 voicemails.  
  
 _By Loubear. Louis._  
  
"M-maybe it was a long time ago...be-before Liam...you know." Zayn suggests with a shaking voice.  
  
"No" Niall shakes his head. "The date says...it was after you know..." he lets out looking desperately at his friends.  
  
All their eyes have begun to get watery thinking about their two best friends.  
  
"He must have called him the whole time..." Harry breaths out as a single tear strolls down his face.  
  
"Are we gonna...you know...listen?" asks Zayn a hint of fear in his voice.  
  
Nobody of them says anything as they think about what to do now as Niall suddenly calls the voicemail and puts it on speaker.  
  
"What...Niall...we can't." Harry stutters out as the recorded female voice tells them what to do.  
  
Niall doesn't say anything and just presses onto the button which will delete every single voicemail before looking at his best mates’ shocked teary eyed faces. "I know." He breathes out. "This is not meant for our ears."


End file.
